Please Refrain


Iron Road

PLEASE REFRAIN
(Air) Humoresque

Passengers will please refrain
From using toilets while the train
Is standing at the station for a while –
We believe in constipation
While the train is at the station –
Passengers, please hold it for a while.

Bladders extended,
Bowels torn and rend’ed,
Will keep our stations nice and free from sickly smell.

Kidneys all aching,
Shit already caking,
Must be borne or stations will become a living hell

Though it dribbles down your legs, you must resist temptations;
Though it stains your underpants, remember – Not at stations!

Though your clothing starts to smell.
Hear the plaintive pleading,
You must not think about relief,
Although your piles are bleeding,
Passengers will please refrain
From using toilets while the train
Is standing at the station for a while