Piddling Pete


 

 

RON KERR – reminiscences of a working drover

 

 

Piddling Pete

 

Piddling Pete, a disreputable breed of a hound,
Accompanied his Master everywhere about town.
To social events and gatherings, or just paying the rent.
Piddling Pete marked the way with his very own scent.

 

At every post pillar or street poles.
Pete never missed anything in the evening strolls.
When the master stopped to bid the time of day.
Pete cut short the talk, by giving a spray.

 

Peak hour crowds Pete liked the best.
The busy intersections, he had more legs to wet.
Sometimes Pete caused quite a riot.
Stocking legs Pete just had to try it.

 

Sometimes Master went for a drive in his car,
Mostly to out of the way hotel bars.
Pete had a whale of a time, on tree and tyre.
Plus one old lady, who thought her leg was on fire.

 

Most ladies though, found Pete rather cute.
Until they found, he was a piddling brute.
Showed his affection by wagging his tail.
They became victims of his scented trail.

 

On the beach, sunbakers were Pete’s delight.
He could christen their heads and dash out of sight.
Master ignored that, Pete belonged.
With a far away gaze, when Pete was wrong.

 

When Pete accompanied Master to the local dog show,
Where pooches and poodles where all in toe..
Pete gained the canines attention by sitting up to beg.
Then calmly got them on side, before cocking his leg.

 

Reduced opposition by spoiling their coats.
Pete always liked to be first past the post.
These pampered pooches had something to fear.
When Pete cocked his leg to aim his spraying gear.

 

The paper reader, on benches in parks.
Were mostly Pete’s victims to play his larks
Being rudely interrupted, by the feel of damp.
When Pete went into action, on the leg of their pants.

 

Pete was friendly with neighbourhood cats.
Being playful without getting scratched.
They played with Pete without fear.
All finished up with pee in their ear.

 

Pete had an enemy, the old lady next door.
Caught Pete spraying her flowers, and got sore.
She tanned Pete’s rear with a branch of wattle.
Each morning Pete baptised her milk bottles.

 

Pete became a hero of his end of the street.
Was mentioned in “Dog of the Week”
By stopping a hold-up at the local store.
While peeing on feet on a slippery floor.