Humour view 4



Source: collected by the late Bob Michell from Enos Newett in the 1960s
SITE SOURCE: Sydney Folklore – SECTION18: Bawdry Songs

A VIRGIN OF NINETEEN

One day as I was walking down by the Strand
I met a young damsel, she was dressed up so grand
She had feathers and finery, she had jewelry and gold
And they said she was a virgin just 19 years old

Her fingers they were tapered, she’d a neck like a swan
Her nose was turned up and her voice not too strong
In three weeks we were married and the wedding bells tolled
I’d married a virgin just 19 years old

When the wedding breakfast was over we retired for to rest
And my hair stood on end when I saw my love undressed
As a great lot of wadding from her waist she did unfold
And I said lord, you’re a beauty for 19 years old

Then she unscrewed her left leg right up to her knee
And plucked off her fingers, I counted just three
And some more of the wadding from her waist she did unfold
And I said you’re a beauty for 19 years old

She then took out her false teeth and my heart struck with terror
For her nose and her chin very well nearly came together
And she took out her glass eye, on the carpet it did roll
And I said you’re a beauty for 19 years old

Then she took off her false wig and I thought I would faint
’cause down from her face she scrapped a bucket of paint
then she took off her corsets, a large hump I behold
and I said you’re a beauty for 19 years old

Now all you young men take a warning by me,
And make sure your love is perfect from her head to her knee
Or else you’ll be sorry, and like me you’ll be sold
A patched up piece of old work about 99 years old.