Demon Drink and Teetotalism view13

From Cyril Pearl Beer Glorious Beer 1968
SITE SOURCE: Sydney Folklore – SECTION 9: Demon drink and teetotalism

Xmas Day In The Madhouse

It was Xmas Day in the madhouse
The looniest day of the year
The idiots wriggled and gurgled and giggled
Pursing their crazy career
Then into there midst came a stranger
The warden said: Joe meet the bunch
He grunted a greeting and stood idly eating
Taxation returns for his lunch
They plied him with dozens of questions
He shook his delirious head
His eyes that were rheumy went tearful and gloomy
He choked back a sob and he said:
I once was a placid young fellow
Clear-headed and matter of fact
Till I began reading that puzzling, misleading irrational licensing act
I tried to make sense of its clauses
The strain was too much for my brain
These tangled restrictions and queer contradictions
Have sent me completely insane
I don’t ask for presents at Christmas
I only seek mental control
Of why don’t those fakirs, those liquor law makers,
Explain what the blazes they mean
The lunatics doubled with laughter
Gave one simultaneous jeer
They nudged one another and said Listen brother
We made ’em and that’s why we’re here.